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Every time a golfer hits the links, they take their best friend along for the ride: their caddy. The trust and bond between these two must be so great for them to succeed as a team, and with that in mind, I figured it would be the quickest ticket to friendship with living legend Jared Allen. I joined Mr. Allen (as he hated to be called) for an 18-hole jaunt around the Edgewood Tahoe golf course during the American Century Championship in hopes of proving that I’m a man worthy of holding his [golf] balls, as well as his heart.

Now listen, I know I’m not on the same level as a man who has his own professional bull riding team, builds and adapts houses to the needs of wounded veterans, or has killed a wild boar with only a knife. I can’t fool him with some machismo that isn’t there, or by becoming a jerky expert over night. What I can do, however, is show him that I’ll put in the work to be part of his wrecking crew, caring about what he doesn’t have time for or hasn’t even considered may be important to him.

I’ll admit, I know much more about friendship than I do golf, but I like to think that just means that we both have plenty to teach one another. Will it be enough to earn the friendship of this tall man? Find out by watching above. Or just wait, I’ll probably tweet the spoiler at some point today, whatever.

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